another retarded post at a retarded time..im so tired.. so drained.. so looking forward to meet God in church. meet God... !! ahhh.. i need a refreshing.. a new touch...
feel so bogged down by stuff..stuff that.. i shall not mention here.. hehz.
been a crazy crazy week...a new experience... a tiring one...
its been an exciting nite.. staying up to watch over the wake... hmm. its like 630 now.. and im gonna turn in soon. crazy... haha. not very tired.. waiting for the heater to heat up so i can bathe... hahah..
hmm yeah.. been thinking alot these few days.. pretty wonderful thoughts with God.. hmmm..
long day again later.. haha.. nitex!
life... do u treasure it? is your life fruitful and worthwhile? what do u wanna be when you grow up? what would you have give to God when you are gonna die? have you fulfilled your purpose? do you even know your purpose here on earth? are u walking right? are u in His ultimate destiny and plan for you?
i wanna lift up a wonderful woman.. a creation, a child, and a fighter for God...Lord.. i give you my grandma... i pray for her soul.. that she's happily with you...in your arms... communing with you...loving you... i know that your plan for her has been fulfilled... i know that your plan for my family is in progress.. i pray that we will live to fulfil it.. i pray that my family will be bonded in You.. i thank you for saving us... thank you for Your salvation.
yes this has been my day...im kinda drawing a blank.. so yeah.. just sms me or something...
"we all bow down.. kings will surrender their crowns in worship"
heh. yeah excited.. super duper excited.. new ministries coming up next yr.. and yeaa im so gonna be a part of it... sports ministry.. and tuition ministry... cool! hahaha. hmm. anyway...also very excited by the events coming up... the big run!.. i also gonna run i guess. haha.. and the big move to the expo... my driving test...holiday to msia next wk...golf.. cycling.. wah.. so exciting! hmm.. haha. God is opening doors also
..i met this guy... super steady.. his name is eddie.. sec1 nhss.. BB... i really gonna pray and hope that he's gonna be my disciple.. hehe.. cool.. God is working so much in my life.. just so blind to see it... well as for the girl part.. haha i will trust la... no use being desperate.. yeah.. and guys should not be.. for wat? God will provide.. dun tell me your faith is sooooooooooooo small that is no existant!? that u have to rely on your lousy human will to get things done? blah!.. go home la.. u will never get wat u desire... God's will will prevail!
ok. yeah.. back to my story..tmr is my duty and so boring.. well.. i should not complain... i really have a blessed existance in the army...its like a dream working where i am...but. well God puts me here for a purpose.. and that im gonna find out soon enuff..i was coming home...taxi was going down the usual route... and i suddenly felt the overwhelming feeling of booking in...the feeling after a great weekend out.. then on sunday nite we have to book in again...to live a tough and lowly existance... hmm.. so pain.. so crap... that feeling is like priceless..girls would almost nvr experience it.. heh..
i thank God for speaking to me today...i thank You for putting the pple that You meant for me in my life..i thank You for the blessing of the ministries in my lifei thank You for my cell group, a group of uber committed pple in my lifei thank You for the training and the tough times u put me thrui thank You for the material blessings i thank You for my lifei love You...
another boring off day at home... where the only drama is with my grandma who just went to hospital.. quite scary that thought...
anyway... was calling up doctors.. gps around my home area.. its like they dun seem to be very willing to help... well an observation came to my mind abt hospitals now.. its like they charge for everything.. apparently health care is a very lucarative business.. i mean. like... does'nt life come before money? whatever happened to the saving lives thing? i mean like... there was one gp i called.. he wanted to charge us 300-500 just for putting a feeding tube in her..
ok well i guess its expertise and experience... private doctor somemore.. but still 300? 500? abit steepp? or is it just covering the cost of making a house call? hmm... pple study more... and thus earn more..they spend 1/4 of their lives studying..and then come out to over charge pple? i duno man... maybe im not sure abt this area.. blah... irritating.
its raining outside... i wanna run... im fat... unfit and unhealthy... ergh... this past 2 weeks.. i have decided to stop eating :
1)fast food
2) fizzy drinks
3) pop corn
well the rest of the sinful food stays i guess. hahah.. oh yah.. chips.. quite hard.. quite hard.. but God will help me thru... keep me from temptation.. =)
people are just so shallow...its so irritating to find pple just talking abt girls and how they look.. ok this might just seem abit hypocritial for me to post.. but then i guess u dun noe the real mee... =P... hahahah..yeah.. people are just so shallow.. i mean.. to find a gf.. or partner is really for life lor.. i mean like...people just put looks above all else...like nothing abt character seems to matter.. nothing abt being a bitch or a liar seems to matter to a guy who is chasing a pretty girl... its all skin deep... friendships and relationships...all a show.. a mask...cowardice...
so what if your discovered? well iguess if pple dun haf the light in them then.... there is sure alot to hide in the vast expanse of darkness in their hearts...ok.. so then with darkness in your hearts.. how are you gonna have a fulfilling relationship.. that is unselfish? altruistic? somehting that would work? somehting that will give u satisfaction and not instant gratification?
desire for instant gratification leads down the path of sin.. in this case.. mainly sexual sin... greed takes over the relationship...selfishness reigns in the hearts of the couple...then.. they fall into serious stuff like fornication.. yes.. pre- martital sex is a euphemism.. blah!... so how? this will then lead into an endless spiral of breaking up.. and finding another person to screw ard with...why? cos that person is searching deep.. searching high and low.. for the satisfaction and contentment that will never be satiated by the lies of the world... the lies of instant pleasure...
relationships are part of life... please treasure them...and then i ask again.. where then do you find true satisfaction and contentment in life? somehting to fill that void in your heart.. something missing that you've always been searching for?
Jesus Christ who has died on the cross for your sins...come back..
"Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"
1 Corinthians 3:18-19 (NIV)
todae was a very hot day... i broke sweat in my room preparing to go out...
took less time to take off my contacts than putting them on.. the left contact is a pain.. took liek 10 tries for it to go in... ok... evverywhere was hot.. its like God testing my patience...
hmm.. every had a sucky day and just a short conversation can uplift your spirits.? yeah i just had one.. so nice... heh.. =) thanx jess mei... hmm... oh oh... and talking ot God.. surely can lift u lor.. i mean. like. todae i went to encounter to play.. to serve... i ended up having a good time talking to God... with Him showingme alot and teaching me alot..
these few days has been quite the terrible... crazy weather and like unpredictable behaviour by pple all ard.. i duno.. im rambling.. and its all so random...
baahh.. im gonna slp... hehe.. yes i usually blog at nite... nitez!
today i....
1)put on my contacts within 15mins
2) took them off within 10mins..
3) fell of my bike
4)chain got loose
5)had audit check for the guardroom..
6) was very stressed
7)encouraged some pple with the exams
8) stressed over saturday cos of cell and worship
9)am super tired out..
10) still have'nt talked to God
11)need to talk to God...
ok... oh yah... fell in love with natalie grant.. nice nice... ok.. nitez..
hmm.. today... i got contacts..
so.. i duno how to put them on... or take them off...
my eyes are red... and my nose is runny...
im sleepy... nitez..
i need to talk to some one... hmm. feeling quite sian now.. lonely...duno..just feel like spilling out everything.. feel so.. isolated... read chloe and april's blog... well actually everyones' blog is abt how they miss this and that...how much they have changed...
yeah the good ole' days were like...spectacular.. but i guess we really cannot be living in the past all the time... i miss alot of things too.. miss my friends.. miss the times we had... blah..now every one is like split up.. with their own lives.. and out of contact... so many of them are overseas... like april...lynsey... mel khong.. like...wahhhhhh.... cheryl chew...caleb...then many of us have our own studies and worries to take care off.. in different universities... no more the same fac.. or the same notes taht we all could share...
soon we'll all be having kids of our own... attending each others' weddings.. and wishing each other well for the future ahead of us... how cool... we have kids... we will have kids of our own...
-this part of the post was inpired by chloe-
hmm... humans are truly fickle creatures...unable to make up their minds....hmm. i tink i'll blog abt that another time.. but but.. its true.. go think.. -inspired by jess mei-
i tink i shall go.. another babbling like post.. blah!
i feel so blessed just to be where i am.. doing my job as an rp...
yes i miss sch.. alot alot. miss my friends and the times we had in class and in the void deck. the family feeling.. now.. its just the green no. 4 and me..but but. to be where i am... its really a blessing.. the pple where i am.. wonderful.. the job..good!.. haha.. really a blessing from God...
i really dun feel like sleeping...its one of those nites.. i can just sit and reflect and not sleep... i have duty tmr.. an di tink im gonna be a zombie.... blah!
reading fabien's blog and the other guys from platoon 3 fdc was like...so... humbling... so different..like every one once again goes their different ways... another phase in life.. yet again.. sux..
a new phase always leaves me isolated... naked.. and standing exposed on my own 2 feet.. so foreign...so cold...so uncertain.. so insecure...feel so small... but well... to be humble and contrite... yeah.. is to feel small.. and when i get this feeling.. i picture myself... with the frame zoomed in on myself looking upwards... then the frame moves upward into the sky.. till its space.. and i realise how small... and tiny i am... compared to the greatness and the creations of God.. insecure no more! haha... ok .. i tink i better slp. nites.
okie.. as the title has stated.. that is what i should be.. and what i wanna be... i guess.. 450 a month is like... wah... hmm i should stop spending.. and start saving.. hmm.. well. this is the life im gonna lead next time... i dun tink i will earn alot.. just enough..to survive... or as God sees fit.. hmm. so ig uess this is training for the future... i should really start to do alot of things...
1) pay my own hp bills
2)pay my own everything else?
wah but driving lessons abit ex ritE? hmm. i duno manz...okie okie..i really hope i can learn more and mature.. i need to grow up more....yes yes.. i noe alot of u reading this are like violently nodding your heads in complete agreement...blah! yupx...grow up in alot more ways also la.. iguess...
today i met..
1) yanbin
and today is the day to buy 4D... cos i met up with Jian Hui...he never appears at our gatherings... blah!
ok.. blah no 3... alot of things on my mind.. as usual... need to pray.. see ya!...