Dum dum dum dum...: September 2005

Sunday, September 25, 2005

i am 19

i am 19..late teen.. late adolesence..going on to adulthood soon...

i feel like im 14... with all the problems and shortsightedness...

gdnite...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

baah... duty is quite fun.. i guess.. sitting dere just gives you the time to reflect.. spend time.. spend time with God...many things im gonna be able to do these 1 plus yr ahead... many things that will require discipline.. that will require determination.. that ahhhhhhh... many many things i wanna say.. but.. dun tink i will say here.. call me if u wanna noe...alot of things on my mind at the moment...

temporal needs, permanent pursuits

"Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15)

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16:26).

"Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life" (1 Timothy 6:17-19 MSG).

earth is temporal...nothing is sound... nothing on earth has a rock solid foundation...nothing lasts..what do you hold on to? what is ur rock?who is your supporT?

many..ok most things in the world are driven by consumerism..by marterialism..by greed..by coverteousness essentially.. for example, the ipod nano....cool? sleek..? desirable...? yes.... must have? yes i guess in a sense.. but... what does it matter? when ur home gets broken into...gets blown away...are material possesions worth a life?what happens when eternity comes? no cool sleek nano will go with u...

the world veils our eyes with carnal desires.. things that will turn us and distract us from the reason. the real reason to life.. the real dream and pursuit of life...of eternity...the world gives are things tat are well... temporary...pleasure..hope..satisfaction to name a few.. what lasts?
what lasts with the human things we create.. we cannot even handle our own lives.. and we talk abt society.. abt children... abt nations... abt the world.. abt the solar system.. abt the universe... what can a small man do? what can a small decieved man do? nothing but vain conceit and deluded thinking..

eternity is near... make your choice while u can...

Sunday, September 18, 2005

new chapter in my army life

yes new chapter in army life tmr...new place... new environment...new faces... new everything.. aiya...

me... same old me.. same old thinking..same fatigue...same negativeness..yeah... ok... 'nuff said...someting on my mind...parents...

something imbued in us

this pic was taking by xian jie.. in one of the non air con class rooms on level 3 sometime last yr.. while we were having our little prayer group.. or nurture group as we called it..

those days.. i was not a good leader.. well i dun tink im much better now... but.. well it will get better..

ok well...today went dotaing with ac pple... and soccer with more ac pple.. and yeah! it was a great time...army has not really changed us inside... inside we hold some thing dear to us.. something very close to our hearts... something that will always...bond us together as one.. someting that will give us identity..something that will nvr break...

at first i tot it was only me, being quite an ac freak, that was feeling it.. that i could not really click witht he pple in the army...well..its not that im not good friends with them.. its not that i have not been thru shyt with them. . but its just...something that they don't share...that special bond.. ok i tink im gonna offend some pple... im sorry guys.. just making a pt here..

hmm. yeah...i duno.. i miss sch.. and i can assure u that all of the class of '04 misses sch alot...
it was the best 2 yrs of my life...the best friends i've made.. the best memories... not even the army can offer...hmm..soon will come a day that we will be reunited as a class.. a year..

bryan tan.. if ur reading this... yeah.. it was a good day today... and pls tag la. when u read...
lol...

nothing ever ever beats meeting a familar face that has been thru the shyt and the stress with u in sch.. mugging ever so hard in the library or the void deck.. for long hrs... sitting down to talk cock when u ponned class..or even climbed out the back gate.. with skirts.. haha...

i miss u guys sooo much...all the best to all the ACsians of '04... the best is yet to be!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

my beginning my forever

tmr should be the start of ojt...when i say should be. i mean im hoping that i will be posted some where else...2 wks of no civil buildings...2 wks of no close friends...but 2 wks of Jesus..2wks of ministry..2wks of training..2 wks of God using me....thank you Father...

down depressed...some thing torn out of my flesh.. taking a piece of flesh as it goes...ouch..pain.. hurt..sacrifice...surrendering...sorry...

thank you for being dere for me.. thank you for the good times..the pain the hurt..the fun..thank you...you've been a blessing..and i know that we'll grow old together knowing that we shared...we had a bond...that you'll be my very very good friend...thank you again...

i lay my soul bare...
i surrender my will...
i give up my desires...
i respond in humility...
i suck up the emotional hurts...
i serve You...and only You...

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

new phase..

oh yes! how exciting... notice the sian look on my face... its just brimming with enthusiasm as i trot out of the cook house in tekong... yes i recently stumbled across this picture quietly residing in my com's hard drive.... and yes... enthusiasm is what i have... ok maybe i spelt it wrong...

tmr. is book in day.. exciting... exciting to see the same faces..hear the same hollering..smell the same toilet..feel the same bunk.. eat the same food...taste the same water...experience the wonders of camp... wow!... what an exhilarating feeling...a total wholesome experience that wuill change...

ok.. back to the picture... notice the look.... that's how im feeling now...

well. guess its another week of "quiet", "undisturbed" contemplation and prayer abt my life... just me..and..God... and platoon mate.s.. and sgts.. and platoon sgts.. and officers.. and... BAHHH!! im going mad... i tink i will go mad quite soon. =P

i hope i get a good posting..good posting means more time for God.. more time for ministry.. more time for family.. more time for friends....i dun tink i need more time for myself...what for?i spend time by myself 24/7...cos its me in this body...rite? yeah! more time for others...=)

how long more?

how long more? how long more of this torment? how long more of this ordeal?
how long more on this earth are we gonna have? how much more of immorality does God have to endure? how much more hurt does one have to suffer on earth?

deception...disgrace...hopelessness...all covered by a curtain...a curtain of joy hope and a feel good thinking... baaah... so sad...

ok sad also due to the imminent book in tmr morning... boo..

back to work i guess.. tekan and more...

"all i need is you... my beginning, my forever"

Monday, September 12, 2005

Renewed

renew my mind...

i wish that we could reset everything... with one button.. one button that could put everything wrong.. right...
if so then where is God in all this?
if so then where am i gonna learn?
where am i gonna experience?
how am i supposed to be shaped?
how am i supposed to be totally surrendered to the work and wonders of God?

renew my mind Lord i pray....
i learnt one thing today....
ok fine.. a few.. but this struck me alot....
in life riches come in many different forms...yes nothing new but but..
lets' just say u have all the riches in the world... monetary...then you will have problems spending it? thinking of ways to.. and problems always arise with money... so how?
the less you have.. the richer you are....
"the meek will inherit the earth"
"let the poor be rich"

yeah! that's my God...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

tommorow is not a promise

it surely is not a promise.... this week has been crazy crazy crazy for me...
quite the slack in camp.. but that's not the pt...
emotionally drained...
spiritually alive and on fire!

yeah. well that's my week i gues.. gonna book in soon again... for the last week of this course... finally i guess. but it seems more shiong things are ahead...

so manythings to do... so many pple to talk to... ahhhh.... so exciting and fun....!!!

oh ok... my week end was not as good... well don't ask... terrible experience...

"tommorow is not a promise, it is a chance"